Royalty's Burden
by I'mjusttryingtofindmyway
Summary: Given the choice to live in Westeros one would pick a Stark or someone noble. But what if you were forced to live as someone vile, someone horrible? Someone hated? Self insert as Joffrey, a monster that tries to change his life and future, surviving those who hate him. Slow updates.


I didn't know what was going on. I didn't know where I was. One moment I was at home celebrating christmas with my family, my mother had just called me down for dinner. And now, I'm elsewhere.

The walls were made of stone, there was candles lighting the room. The bed was big, bigger than my own. I could fit twenty people on it, though right now there was only me. The room's laish furnitures reminded me of royalty, the cups with wine, the fancy looking curtains and the balcony with a view of some kind of European style city below.

I looked down and saw myself tucked into a warm red and gold blanket. It was lined with fur making me feel safe and comfy. This sheet alone was far more expensive looking than everything I owned.

I threw open the blanket and looked down at myself, I was thin, my body was incredibly thin. I didn't have chest hair nor could I feel a beard on my face. I was wearing a small jerkin underneath, but that was it. Something wasn't right.

Getting out of the bed was a humongous task as I had to crawl to the edge, the bed was ridiculously big. I put my foot on the cold stone floor and blinked in surprise, this place was ridiculously cold.

I got up and looked down, I was shorter than I remembered, something seriously strange was going on. I looked around and saw a highly decorated ornate mirror on a small desk across the room. It looked like like something Indiana Jones would want to put inside a museum. I walked up to the silvery object and stopped in place. This wasn't me, this wasn't me at all.

I had blonde hair, green eyes and a very sharp face. I didn't look older than 15, but the fact that I might have to live through puberty again wasn't the worst part. The worst part, is that I recognized the face, I spent so many days cursing this guys name. I hated him with all my heart, I wanted him to die a cruel death and I cheered when it happened.

I was fucking Joffrey Baratheon.

Fuck my life.

'Okay, stay calm, assess the situation,' I told myself as I got myself together, 'I need to think this through. One, I could be stuck in a matrix like situation. But why would anyone ever want to put me into a matrix? To scare me? Interrogate me? No, that's just time and resources better spent elsewhere, like maybe on a Prime Minister or a President. So no, not a matrix.

'This could be a dream, a very very vivid one,' I brought my thin hand up and slapped myself hard.

Slap!

I held my cheek and rubbed it hard, 'damn it! Why did I have to hit myself so hard?! Sigh, okay, so not a dream. Well then….shit, the only answer is that this is real. No...it can't be. I need to check.'

There wasn't any people nearby, but Joffrey was a prince, maybe even….a king! Shit, what's the timeline right now?! Is Ned Stark already dead?! Shit! Fuck! I need answers! Okay, Joffrey is royalty, meaning there should be people outside guarding him right now.

I cleared my throat and conjured up the strongest roughest tone of voice I could muster,"guards!"

Suddenly the warm looking wooden double doors were thrown open as two men in armour charged in with weapons drawn.

"My prince! Are you alright?! Are you harmed?!" they asked immediately searching the room looking for intruders.

'Okay, prince, that means Joffrey isn't the king yet, meaning Ned isn't dead. Good, thank God. If that was the case then I would be stuck in the body of the most hated man in the world!'

"No, I am fine, there is no one here, stop your searching," I told them in the best kingly tone I could muster. Royalty had their air about them, that commanding tone. I raised my head and puffed out my chest, "I have a question for you two, and I would like an honest answer."

The guards stopped looking through the room and blinked in surprise. They looked at each other surprised by the order until one of them bowed, "of course my prince."

"Tell me what..." 'No, I can't ask them what my name is, I already have enough proof that I'm Joffrey Baratheon, I don't need them looking at me funny, one wrong look my way and my head will roll!' I sighed, "tell me is Jon Arryn still alive?"

The guards looked at me funny before the one that spoke before shook his head, "ah, no sire, he isn't. He died the night before."

My eyes went wide, 'so this is the beginning of the books….good, that means people won't be coming for my head any time soon.'

"Alright, thank you, that is all," I motioned them to leave. The guards looked confused before bowing and leaving, closing the door behind them. I was left alone to my thoughts, which were running at five miles an hour.

'I'm in the body of the bastard king. What the hell am I supposed to do?! Is this real? Is this just a fantasy? No, I can't think that this is fake, I just can't. If I think like that and am proven faulty then it's my head! I have to think that this is real and act accordingly.

'I don't want to die! Joeffry is the most hated person in the fuckign world! Everyone except Cersei hates him! And I'm him! I-I….I don't want to die! No! I can't! I refuse to die!'

I sat down on the bed, my bed and held my head in my hands. I shivered, whether in fear or the cold wind of the night I don't know, but I'm putting my money on fear.

I don't want to die, but I was inside the body of a man who pisses off everyone he meets! He killed Ned, he tortured Sansa! He had Lady killed! He was a coward that hide and ran when his people needed him the most! He killed all his 'father's' bastard and then he ran away like a bitch during the battle of Blackwater and then tortured Sansa! Did I say that twice?

I looked at my hands, no, not my hands, Joffrey's hands. They were stained with so much blood so much pain caused by a little boy. They didn't look evil now that I see them, one would expect hands like this too look evil, but they don't, they look innocent, they look like the hands of a child.

'Wait….ut he is innocent,' I realised. All those things I remembered, all of those horrible things from before...I could change all of that. I could make him….I could make him a good person, I could be a good person.

People hated everyone in this world, they killed everyone they could...but if I played my cards right...then I could live! I could survive, and maybe finally after that figure out what the hell happened to me! Why I was born into this body, why I am a fuckign prince when a few minutes ago I was a normal guy in the twenty first century.

This world was filled with magic, maybe I could find out along the way, but until then….I would need to survive, and I need to make sure nothing happens to me till then.

This was fucking Westeros though, how the hell am I supposed to figure out how to outsmart people who have been doing this for years?! Cersei alone is...shit...I just realised, Cersei Lannister is my mother. Fuck…. Why did someone so hot end up being my mom? Hmm well incest is a popular thing in the Lannister family, maybe-

Slap!

I slapped myself hard. 'Bad Joffrey! Focus on the mission!' I grumbled rubbing my already sore cheek. I got off the bed and walked to the balcony, the view of the King's Landing below me really sent a clear message, this was real, and now I have to focus on figuring out how I'm going to live through this.

That night I didn't get much sleep, the fact that was in another world really stuck out at me. I wanted to run out of the castle and rush to the North. All the characters I loved were real, well real and not just actors. There really was a woman with white hair and dragons living across the sea, the really was a man named Jon Snow that might be secretly a Targaryen. There are so many people I want to meet, but then I realised that I probably be killed the moment I meet any of them.

Dany wanted to kill me and get back her throne. The North was going to want to kill me, and when Ned finds out Joffrey isn't a legitimate king he is going to want to tell Robert, who would then want to kill me. And if i somehow manage to live through that then there comes the threat of the white walkers, who want to kill everyone alive and of course let's not forget the scheming courtiers in the kingdom that want to kill for power and money.

I was basically fucked no matter what I did. So I can't afford to be crazy, I couldn't afford to show an inch of my true self to the world. I need to hide behind a wall, be a person that everyone would love. I need to portray someone good, kind, basically the exact opposite of what Joffrey truly is.

People would get suspicious about the change in attitude, they would start asking questions, I need an answer for that. Maybe I realised the error of my ways? Yes...yes, it could work. Maybe tell them all I realised how stupid I acted and maybe how I saw myself in a dream that scared the living shit out of me!

I quickly spent the rest of the night crafting my story and the persona I would use. I managed to find a quill and a sheet of parchment to write on. It was strange using a quill and ink pot, but it wasn't rocket science, I figured it out pretty easily.

Using the paper and quill I began to make a list of what all I had to do in order to make my enemies my allies. By the time the sun came up I was done, it wasn't concrete, and I knew plans would have to change, but now I had a way to live, to survive. This world would love me, and I will survive!

I put away the quill and rolled up the parchment and folded it into a tight letter. I then lifted the back leg of my bed and put the sheet of paper underneath it. Information was power in this world, and this single sheet of paper was now the most powerful object in the world for me. It would mean my death if people found it out.

Just then the doors open and a beautiful young woman walked in wearing brown and white. She had brown hair tied together in a bun behind her head and sparkling green eyes. She stopped however seeing my and immediately bowed low, "my prince, I'm sorry if I was late to wake you up. Please forgive me it will not happen again!"

I blinked in surprise, 'oh right, back then they had people who helped royalty wake up and get dressed. I see...well then time to begin my plan, I need to make an impression on her, and a good one at that.'

I flashed her my best smile, "relax, it is alright my dear. I woke up on my own today, it is not your fault."

The girl jerked in surprise as she slowly stood up straight and blinked in surprise, "t-thank you my prince." I smiled and nodded. The stunned girl slowly moved to the wooden cupboard and took out a set of clothes. It was red and gold, very much what Joffrey was expected to wear.

"Excuse me miss, but my memory seems to be affected, what is your name?" I asked, probing her for information.

The girl blinked in surprise, "M-Margaret my lord."

I nodded smiling, "thank you. I'm sorry that I didn't remember Margaret, I apologize."

The girl seemed to be blushing, "i-it's not a problem my prince. I am just a worker, you are royalty, I can't expect you to remember my lovely name."

She was shy and vulnerable, now was the chance to strike and win my first alley. I smiled, "don't say that Magaret, you and others like you are the reason why this kingdom works the way it does. If the low borns don't work then this country would never progress. You are an important part of this world, don't let anyone ever tell you any differently, understood?"

The girl blinked as she looked at me with eyes filled with wonder. She bowed immediately, "to-thank you my prince! You're words are most kind!"

I smiled and nodded. While she laid out my clothes on the bed I started to wonder what I should ask of her, I need information, apart from the big things I don't have the first clue about what a prince does on a day to day basis. Taking a risk I speak once again.

"Margaret I was wondering, could you help me?" I asked with a my 'charming' prince persona still on place.

"Of course my prince," she replied, "what is it that you need?"

"Well I was wondering if you could answer me this," I asked, "do you know what my usual day to day activities are?"

The servant girl looked surprised, "ah, well first you would would down to the dining area for breakfast, after which your gaurd would take you to your lessons. I'm sorry, but that is all I know."

I nodded, "I see, thank you, that is most useful." Of course she wouldn't know, but she did mention a gaurd...of course! The Hound! I could ask him! He would be around Joffrey all the time! Shit! Tat means if he noticed the slightest difference in Joffrey's personality he would notice! I need to find a way around this!

As I was thinking though Margaret managed to walk closer to me, standing inches away from me. I was surprised by this, but before I could say a thing she suddenly got to her knees and had her fingers into my pants which she promptly lowered with one swift pull.

I was too stunned to speak as she grabbed my limp cock and swallowed it whole. She bobbed her head back and forth, sucking my cock, licking it's underside. She then stuck her tongue underneath the foreskin licking the head in a circular motion.

I couldn't say a word as I simply gaped at the servant currently on her knees giving me the best blow job I have ever experianced in my entire life! Slowly my cock grew hard at the stimulation, I couldn't help feeling weak in the knees as she continued to slobber all over my dick.

Slowly her saliva started to cover my cock whole, making it sloppy wet. Margaret wrapped her hand around my lower shaft and jerked and twisted the meat. I couldn't help it, I felt an orgasim comeing, and it was a big one.

"I-I'm coming Margaret, move!" I tried to warn her, but when I mentioned that I was coming Margaret grabbed onto my ass and shoved my cock deeper into her throat. I gasped, releasing a stream of cum down her throat. Her throat twitched, jerking out my sperm until there was nothing left.

Slowly Margaret let go, drawing back on my cock until only my head was left inside. She sucked it slowly, sipping out the small amount of sperm inside. Once it was cleaned dry, she licked the outside swallowing the saliva, cleaning it dry.

I looked down and watched Margaret clean her mouth using her dress sleeve before she got up and picked up light white inner wear. She turned back to me and smiled, "was my actions satisfactory my prince?"

I couldn't think properly, "I-I yes. It was."

The servant girl smiled, "good, I'm glad," she readied a new seat of inner leggings, "please my prince, let me change you."

"Y-yes, of course," I nodded blankly as I allowed her to dress me. I wanted to yell and scream and ask her why she just did what she did, but something told me I already knew the answer.

This was Westeros, the land of whores and reason HBO is considered an adult only channel. Sex was power, and people here loved power, Joffrey especially. He probably ordered this girl to service him like this everyday! That bastard! That lucky lucky bastard!

Margaret finished dressing me up and bowed, walking away. I sighed, 'that was strange...but if I want to survive I need to adapt, I need to blend in. My sense of morality needs to be adjusted, killing, rapeing, all those horrible crimes, here it was as normal as a sun rise. I can't change too much, or else people would notice…..plus the daily blow job isn't such a bad thing.'

I looked up at the mirror again and this time saw Joffrey Baratheon looking back dressed in red and gold robes. I smiled, and shivered when I saw my reflection do the same. I was in the body of a monster, and I had the task of making him a likeable person, how that was going to be possible I have no idea, even the people around him aren't normal.

I need to try and change things around here, for the better. Someday maybe I can.

Just then a knock on the door drew my attention. A man walked in wearing black armour with a dog imprinted on the chest. Half the man's face was burnt off, and attached on his back was a long sword bigger than my entire body. He was huge, and to think he was only the 'little' brother.

"Clegane," I nodded in greeting.

The man stopped in his tracked and stared at me with wide eyes, well, eye. He was surprised, why...shit! I called him Clegane, not Dog! Shit! Fuck me for being a nicer guy than Joffrey! Okay I can do this, I can turn this around!

"I'm sorry," I replied immediately.

The man blinked, "for what my prince?"

"For calling you names for all these years," I cast my head down doing my best to looked like I was filled with regret, "I was just a child, and I never realised until now….I apologize Clegane, please forgive me."

"I-I, of course my prince," the man nodded unsure of what to do. He was thrown off balance, perfect.

"Thank you for your forgiveness Clegane," I nodded giving a sad smile, "I realise you do so only because I am your prince, if I wasn't you would have cleaved me the first time I called you a dog. I hope that one day I truly earn your forgiveness though, but until then I suppose this will have to do."

The Hound looked even more confused now, if that was possible. He said nothing but simply node in surprise, not saying a word.

"Good, now come on Clegane, I am hungry take me to the dining area," I instructed doing my best to look princely. The man nodded blankly as he motioned to the door.

As we walked down the castle corridors The Hound tried to walk behind me, but I didn't let him, insisting that he lead. He looked even more confused, but did as he was told. I couldn't let him know I had no idea where anything was, if I was leading I would have lead us into a wall in the first five minutes.

As we walked I looked at my surroundings, the castle resembled the tv show a lot, in fact it was an exact copy. I honestly never imagined I would ever walk down these halls, never mind walking down them with a member of the cast.

I never liked the Hound, the weird romance he and Sansa shared creeped me out big time. She was just a girl and was an old man, but I suppose in this world that would be normal. Either way I didn't like it, hopefully I can avoid it this time around.

I looked around and saw servants walking about cleaning up the place, flashbacks of the shows reminded me that every single person here was a spy, the castle was filled with them. They were ether working for that eunuch or Littlefinger. Or in the really rare case Cersei, my mother. Shit, why did I have to be her son? Sigh.

The Hound lead me down the tower, presumably it was the prince's tower, and into the main castle. We traveled into the belly of the castle and into a large hall, he stood by the walls while I went in.

It was like the one that had the Iron throne in it, but it instead of a giant throne made out of swords there was a long wooden desk that covered the entire table. The food placed on the table looked delicious, only now did I realize how hungry I was.

The top of the desk was already occupied, there was a little girl and boy, both with bright green eyes. I realised immediately they were Joffrey's-I mean, my siblings. Tommen and Myrcella.

I smiled cheerfully and walked up to them, "good morning you two, how did you sleep?"

The two jerked on hearing my voice. They turned around as their faces were filled with fear. Tommen drew back in fear afraid to say a thing. Myrcella gulped and spoke up, "f-fine brother. How did you sleep?"

I blinked in confusion, 'why were they so afraid...oh fuck. That's right. Joffrey hates them! He made their life a living hell!' I sighed, I have a lot of work ahead of me.

I took the seat opposite to them, so as to not antagonize them further and smiled, "I slept fine Myrcella. Though I do have a nasty nightmare."

The girl nodded, "I-I am sorry to hear that brother, I'll proy for you."

"Oh don't bother wasting your prayers on that, it's not worth the thought I promise you," a maid walked out of the kitchen with a smokin hot plate and placed it in front of me. The plate had a grilled sausages, a pile of scrambled eggs and two slices of bread.

I smiled, "thank you miss," I told the maid, giving her a node before grabbing a fork and digging into my food. I was halfway into my second bite when I noticed Tommen and Myrcella staring at me with wide eyes, even the maid who had served me food was looking at me funny.

"What?" I asked, "do I have something on my face?"

"No my prince!" she bowed hastily and quickly walked away. I turned to my siblings who quickly looked down into their plates, they were scared still, maybe me thanking the maid was too out of character for them. Whatever, I am planning on making Joffrey a different person, might as well make some heads turn now rather than later.

We ate breakfast in silence, halfway through my eggs someone new walked in, someone I recognized and adored. Cersei Lannister, the queen of Westeros herself. She was beautiful, so beautiful, I'm not ashamed to admit I have somewhat of a crush on her. Smart, beautiful and vicious, crazy and evil, but still you would be lying if you said you don't respect her drive.

"Hello my darlings she said with a smile," she walked swiftly and took the seat to my left. Walking behind her was Jaime Lannister, Joffrey real father. He walked behind Tommen and Myrcella who greeted him with a genuine smile.

"How did you sleep Joffrey?" Cersei asked as she ran her fingers down my head.

I couldn't help getting aroused, she was just so goddamn hot! I smiled at her, "fine, just fine."

"He had a nightmare," Tommen peeped up. Cersei and I turned to Tommen in surprise. Seeing my look Tommen squeaked, "I'm sorry!"

"No, no it's fine, you were just concerned," I wave off his apology.

"You had a nightmare?" Cersei asked in concern, "what was it about?"

I looked up at her shyly, like a son would a mother. This was the perfect chance, I knew I had to take it. "I...I don't want to mention it mother, can we talk afterwards? After breakfast?"

Cersei looked worried, she was about to object, I can't have that. I quickly grabbed her hand and squeezed, showing her that I was vulnerable and needed her help. Being a mother she couldn't say no, so instead of objecting she nodded and began to talk to the little ones again.

After breakfast we walked together with her leading the way. We entered her bed chambers leaving Jamie and Clegane outside as guards. The inside of her room was similar to my own, though more grand with a tray of wine near er small desk. I half expected to see Robert here, but obviously these two must not share a room, can't have his wife around when you are out fucking whores.

"Please mother, sit," I said pointing to the chairs around her small desk. She sat down opposite each other, Cersei looking concerned and me trying to figure out how to get what I want.

"My little lion, what has you so upset?" she asked in concern.

"I-I had a dream last night mother, it was a bad one," I said with a shudder in my voice.

"What did you see my sweet?"

'Alright, time for the kicker!' "I saw myself...I saw myself through another's eyes. I saw the things I did, the people I hurt. I'm such a horrible person," I hung my head, blocking my face from Cersei's line of sight.

"Joffrey! That simply isn't true! You are a wonderful, kind person!"

"No mother! I am not! I am a cruel child that scares everyone! Even Tommen and Myrcella are scared of me!" I shoot back looking angry.

"They aren't scared of you Joffery-"

"-Yes! They are, and with reason too! I am a monster mother, I know you can't see it, I know that being my mother you must love me despite all my flaws, but I realise this now, I realise the kind of monster I am! I saw how horrible I treated people, how...how horrible I treated my own family."

I hung my head, sighing in defeat, "I...I don't want to be like that any more mother. I don't want to continue to be such a horrible person." I started to sigh, pretending to hold back tears, I turned up and looked at Cersei, she looked so heartbroken and somewhat proud, time to reel her in. "Please mother...help me change."

"Oh my lion!" she cried out throwing her hands around me and pulling me into a hug. She shoved my head into her cleavage, I blushed smelling her scent, God she smelt so good!

She broke the contact and held my hands with her cupped hands, "my sweet I promise you I will help you. If you wish to change, to be a better man, then I will help you, from now, to my dying day, I will always be your mother. So whatever you need, ask, and I will do it."

She hugged me again, holding me tightly. I slowly brought my hands around her and hugged her back, smiling sly. "Thank you. Mother." Step one, complete!

* * *

 **Here we go, just somethign that was running around in my head, had to get it out there and put it down on paper.**

 **I'm not really sure if I'm going to make it a proper story, maybe latter, I'm really busy right now anyway**


End file.
